You smell like stripper and shame
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize