In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
