and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
