So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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