bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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