You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize