I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
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I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Shame is for Republicans.
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