How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
