I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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