Duck Duck Cougar?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
