ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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