Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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