I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
