I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
