I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
