Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
