Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
