I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
ok first of all what the fuck
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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