Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
