Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
