She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
