if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
