I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
