operation have a gay friend backfired
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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