a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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