my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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