im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it glows. i had to have it.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Randomize
