You're completely useless in the revolution.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
