They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
only you would photoshop your dick
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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