Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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