We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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