My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
