i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
honey bunches of taint.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I think my moral compass just broke
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
