That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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