i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
