she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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