I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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