I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
