You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
