It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
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