There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
