The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
