I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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