His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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