I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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