My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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