I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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