take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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