I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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