I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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