please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
