I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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