Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
