I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
