she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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