Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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