So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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