i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
