I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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