I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
