I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
